1. America is so plastic.
2. I love America.
3. I’d rather die than get fat.
4. I can be bought.
5. A woman’s place is in the kitchen.
6. A man’s place is burning in hell.
7. I need a dirty martini and a hard fucking.
8. It's not pretty when dolls talk.
9. It's not my fault you're ugly.
10. Girl, you ain’t Jesus, so get off the cross.
11. Why don't you go outside and play hide & go fuck yourself.
12. Time sure flies when you are a raging alcoholic.
13. Don’t bite the hand that spanks you.
14. Do I look fat?
15. I’m not that kind of girl.
16. I am not a sex object.
17. The only bush I trust is right here.
18. You can’t keep this white bitch down.
19. He fucked me so hard, my head popped off.
20. I’ve never kissed a girl.
21. Keep your dirty religion to yourself.
22. Don’t worry your sweet, little, fucking head.
23. Fix your own damn dinner.
24. Why don’t you make up your goddamn mind?
25. So what’s it like being really ugly?
26. Keep your dirty pussy off my man.
27. I hope you and your plastic soul melt in hell, bitch.
28. I like them to be tall, dark, and hung.
29. Yes… they have been augmented.
30. Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.
31. Hate me because I slept with your husband.
32. It’s simple. Cheat on me, and I’ll cut of your dick.
33. I might be plastic, but I can think for myself.
34. I’m not your pussycat.
35. Ken promised me the world, and all I got me was Detroit.
36. Show me a man with a million dollars, and I’ll show you a man I’d like to fuck.
37. What vodka bottle did you just crawl out of?
38. As if being perfect is a sin.
39. Eat my afterbirth, asshole.
40. Where the hell is Ken with my fucking eight ball?

41. I’d rather sink than call Ken for help.
42. Dolls think big.
43. I taste better in bed.
44. Monogamy sucks.
45. God, why am I so beautiful?
46. Of course I’m taking advantage of you.
47. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
48. Love is gentle. Love is kind. Love will take you from behind.
49. I’m everyman’s wet dream.
50. Beauty is power.
51. Eat shit and die princess.
52. Lick my pussy and ask again.
53. Listen Reba, take your country twat, and get out my way.
54. It’s hard being perfect.
55. My loins are plastic, but my love is for real.
56. Keep your laws off my body.
57. Sure is nice being independently wealthy.
58. Voulez-vous au sexe anal avec mo ice soir?
59. What the fuck? You said you were hung!
60. You’re a total fucking cunt.
61. Oh go beg the nanny for love, that’s why I pay her.
62. Cheers, to the biggest prick I know.
63. All work and no play makes me a total bitch.
64. Behind every successful woman, there’s another successful woman.
65. Christi, paybacks are hell.
66. Just say no to bad drugs.
67. Thanks. I would fuck me too.
68. A happy woman is a homely woman.
69. All girls should have breast like mine.
70. Censorship is an evil bitch.
71. No means eat me out first.
72. Sigh, I wish I was a lesbian.
73. Behind every successful woman, there’s a meathead.
74. I’m sorry. I thought I was in love with you, but it turns out I was just high.
75. Ignorance is bliss.
76. Fuck all you skinny bitches.
77. I’m a size queen.
78. Like Burt Bacharach says… wives should be lovers too.
79. I’m drowning in a sea of idiots.
80. It's over. Now leave me the fuck alone.